running to rant

Many who ran with me will find my reflections on the trails page a bit too fuzzy, leaving out something obvious: Conversations with me on a run have a fair chance of transforming themselves into a ranting monologue about something that bothers me. And lots bothers me, so I don’t lack subjects. And on top of that, lots of what bothers me, seems connected to each other, so the rant tends to meander its way trough several of them. The release is temporary so those who know me longer will recognize the hobby horses. However, I believe that I manage to make the hobby horse appear out of a new hat often enough to keep boredom at bay. That’s what I like to think at least…

That this surfaces during running definitely has a physical aspect. How to show you that? My eldest, Keiko, sent me this captivating video today.  It’s about as good an illustration of how I look at it as it gets. The truth is that I partially run to rant. It helps me survive the darkness that comes from bottled up anger and other negative stuff. And it’s the movement that brings it out. Its the movement that facilitates the connections. And that’s how the guys in the video seem to  experience it also:  It was so much fun to brainstorm with KRNFX and actually dig into the process of where you want the music to go…

The video illustrates something else: doing whatever with someone else turns it into a shared choreography. It goes beyond the individually therapeutic. It becomes play. It takes at least two to play, isn’t it? It’s my experience also that once you’r playing you can dig much deeper. Because it’s about the play, it’s not about you. That ‘you’ center in there may be imaginary but sure manages to bottle up a lot of crap. And then protects it with layers of shame, fear and guilt.  Letting those genies out is so much easier if it’s all not serious, if it’s just a rant, if it’s done together.

And the weird thing of it all is that, off and on, that whole lotta crap, when escaping the bottle, creates something new and beautiful. I admit, not that often, but often enough to cherish my running for bringing out those rants.

For those unfamiliar with ranting, you can listen to a very extreme example, parental guidance certainly applicable,  on my visuals page. Yes, it’s bad, and it doesn’t get better if you consume it as written lyrics. But I must admit that I’m with FZ who would probably argue that there is so much stupidity in the universe that it’s important to face it directly.

About roger henke

Still figuring out the story line that would satisfy myself here. Listening to what my family and friends evoke, what the words I absorb, the images that move me, the movements that still me, point to.
This entry was posted in (trail) running, psychology and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to running to rant

  1. Pingback: why moan about trail races and prize money? | roger henke's fancies

  2. Pingback: mountains, people, roads and other fantasies | roger henke's fancies

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